personal diary - STRESS

Stress- (psychologically) inability to cope with perceived or real ( or imagined) threat to one's mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being, which results in a series of physiological responses and adaptations. (Seaward, 1997, p.5)

Stress - (generally) any event that strains or exceeds an individual's ability to cope (Lazarus, 1999)

Nowadays, I find that many of the friends around me are stress, including me. Why stress? Assignments, study, activities, relationships...... all common sources of stress. Majority those who meet stress is due to poor time management. (Minority is those who really work hard since the beginning, due to the high expectation given by their lecturer. )

Poor time management. I am one of this group, so talk in my 'experience'. Assignment is given since the early of the semester, but due to no stress and motivation that time, I choose to delay it, until nearly last minutes. What am I doing then? Activities, sleeping, chatting, playing, wasting times...... Enjoying my time, and lead to business and stress at the end. Now, its already 3/4 of this semester. Look forward, exam is near, (1 month later). Look backward, whole load of books need to study. Ask myself, manage to finish it before exam?? Then... STRESS>>> STRESS......

Ask myself what I can do now? Sure, go study if got time lar... Use every minutes wisely, dont sleep too much. Wasting time will only make me feel guilty and stress. Chatting.. still allowed coz it give me motivation. While concentrate on others problem, I can put aside my stressors, being more relax.. DONT TALK TOO MUCH, GO STUDY NOW!!

CIM game day..

Happy now... Hmm... Not just because of it pass already... Also, because there is a good ending... Thank God:)

Last night still emotionally affected by it, and bring the down mood to sleep... However, when I see the sunny weather this morning, I know GOD listen my prayer -- for good weather and fluent progress...

I want to say sorry to AhBoon, coz i left the job of finding player to him... really sorry of affecting him... This is my irresponsible side, I give up of doing something that I cant manage to settle. Also thank him of being sacrifice his study time for this, really appreciate of his kindness and helpfulness..

I skip the morning futsal session to church, leave all the games to Anson. I think he handle it well, and sorry to say that I din help this morning. Thank you Anson, for doing all that, including my part... Thank you jiali, for finding me the netball players, thanks chek go and chu hong, for male teams. Thank you my dear roomate cheng cheng, for being the last player for netball team... Thank you all volunteer players for this game, because of you, its successful...

The good weather, make this game a successful one. Actually not perfect, coz too hot this morning. But fortunately rain comes after we manage to finish all the games. Really Thank GOD for listening to our prayers.

Lean Choon say this game is an races integration programme for college. I still think that is no point to organize it coz really hard to push female player to join it at first (I dont know how is the condition of KKM and KKI lar, but for KKC it is truth). We all never play those sports. But is ok coz finally we got enough player for the teams... Thanks for all.

Really HAPPY now... Really, I din do much... But thanks for all... At least I learn something... I see my weakness and irresponsible part...

C-I-M game... so tiring...

Why nobody want to help?? Anything I can do?? 2molo is the game dy, can it pass faster...

真的很讨厌。。。为什么要办一个没人要参加的活动？？有什么意义？？谁可以告诉我？？我知道我叫不动人，但看到元文那样一直拉人，我都替他累。。我不喜欢逼人。。辅导员是不可以逼他的顾客的。。为什么我现在要做相反的事？？真的很累了。。我都不想理了，可以快点过吗？？但是还缺人。。

Counseling Diary

New concept for all to share..

**If you think a person (A) got maladaptive behavior, but A thinks he is all right, then it is you who have problem.

Explaination:
Maybe A really got some unacceptable behavior, but if he himself think he is ok, then we have to consider he is normal. Why I say those who are affected by him got problem? It is because you are the one who being uneasy with his maladaptive behavior. You are the one who get in trouble. So you are the one who have problem.

What to do next? If you really feel affected by that person, seek help from others. I will suggest that either you have to make a change to adapt or to accept A and his‘normal' behavior. Or you try to let A realizes that he has a maladaptive behavior.

If he realizes it, and going to change, then it will be fine for both you and A. But if he refuses to make any changes, then, it is your choice to accept A, or just avoid from his maladaptive behavior.

Fragments

Tuesday (10 March 09), I attend the drama presentation of PKVUM at KPS. That is an annual event organized by PKVUM, in conjunction to Easter day. This year’s presentation is simpler compared to last year’s. it is a nice show. I like the scene and the way they perform it.

I am sorry to say that, I cannot fully get what the drama wants to tell me. But what I get from it is a phrase, maybe even not an important phrase in the drama. “Human has the instant to care, but when it comes to action, your heart cannot manage it.” Get it? Ya.. I always say that I am not ‘8’, but care, concern. However, what I can do next? What I can give to those whom I concern? I really take it serious. Do I help you, at least to reduce your stress and moodiness? I hope I can do something for you, even slightly make you smile, before I can do more for you… “But what can you do next? Not more than listening…”

Who will make you whole? The theme of the drama, fragments. Think of it. Who can make you complete? Is this can simply be done by anyone else? By those you love?
Jesus loves you, loves me, loves all of us. He died on the cross for us, to bring us to the eternal life. Dying is easy, if you just jump down from a high building, shoot yourself with a pistol, kill yourself with a knife, overdoses, drunk…… IMAGINE…… just imagine, if you are dying on the cross, will this be easy? Sure no!! Jesus died on the cross, not only because of nailed wound, or over bleeding, but also suffering. The painfulness, the sins that make him apart from his Father Lord, tiring of pushing himself up to take breath…

I am sad. Since I have known this for years ago, but I do nothing for Him. He sacrificed so much for me, but I do not do a single thing for Him… I am a failure person in this way. And HOW ABOUT YOU?? Can you be more successful than I am?? I hope you are…

The second night I go there again, and this time, I understand what the drama tells. I get the three steps to approach the eternal life, which I have known them before. Just want to share here:
1. Admit that you have sins.
2. Believe that Jesus died for all of us. (to wash our sins with his blood)
3. Invite Jesus to be our Lord and Saviour.

JESUS was broken into FRAGMENTS to made us WHOLE

快乐就是这么简单

A happy lunch time… with zhi yi; with kin wei, jung yew, zai he, guang hao, kai siang; with kok hoe; with ken keat, wey sian, cheng cheng, wei wern, jing hui. I don’t mean that we eat together, but just take the lunch time to chat. It’s a nice time to meet with so many friends, just in a lunch time, and I have been in DU for nearly one and a half hour.
Just because I am a social person, I like to mix with people. Even just simply a slight interaction can pleased me a lot. I wish that, anyone who feels stress can just take a break by chatting with those you are pleased to be with. This can bring u pleasures, and reduce ur stress level in certain situation.

'Stress' assignment..

Hahaha... I think i already get done with my 'stress' assignment during my holidays last few days.. However, it seems like not what I think...

'How to cope with stress at work' This is my assignment title. Lecturer says minimum 5 pages. Ok, well, I do 7 pages for it. Its enough dy right?? But today, when i go to class in the morning, one of my coursemate have get it done, with 20 pages printed out already... OMG... that means I better doubles my pages of assignment, in order to have more reason for me to get better grade for my work... Nevermind, I trust that i can handle it, just add more unused 'loso' phrases, not a hard job for me...

This afternoon, entering another class. My another coursemate says she got 46 pages for that assignment.... My God.... I want to pengsan liao......","

感情事。。我不了解。。

刚刚从某人口中得知某某跟某某早已分手了，很久的旧闻了，只是我后知后觉的现在才知道。是，我是迟钝，但这不是重点。（也还好还没闹笑话。。）

从中学开始，就一直看着身边的朋友，拍拖、分手、在新的恋情、又。。。我很疑惑，不明白。。中学还可以说不成熟，但二十多岁了，成年了，大学生了，似乎还是一样。我知道，每份感情，你都是真心的，结局你也不想。但是，一段结束，另一段又开始，我会觉得你是爱上恋爱，而不是爱上某人。。

感情，是一份责任，开始了，就该持守下去。有人说，我对你有感觉，我们先相处看看是否适合，不合就分开。这样，对彼此都是一种伤害，不尊重。我不明白。。如果真的喜欢，觉得可以负起责任，开始了一段感情，那为什么不能坚持下去？有那么难吗？

菁菁说，就是相处过，觉得不适合才分开呀！也没错，日久见人心，久了才原形毕露，接受不了就放弃。我不明白的是，一开始可以相处得那么好，为什么到之后又不能包容？？

微文说，Aileen你去谈恋爱啦！我不要。。如果是像我看到的那些那么多不好的例子，我不要。等我去研究恋爱心理学先，研究人性先。上帝会让我知道。。

希望身边的每一对情侣，都会开花结果。。。

期待已久的假期。。

期待已久的假期。。虽然只是短短的四天，但也够我休息充电啦！！

从上个星期就一直等待这几天的休息日，因为我累积了太多功课啦。。之前的垒球赛，KKAA占去了我周末的时间，让我没精力再去完成自己的功课。现在，一切都结束了。。接下来的我，自由啦！！

说到这几天，真的好轻松，好享受，好幸福哦！！从星期五开始，我就睡很多，玩很多，吃很好，做很少。。每天累了就睡，几乎睡到我头晕晕。。早午晚三餐不用动手有的吃，都是姐姐预备的。。上网上到爽，聊天，看人家的部落格，找资料，找图片。。也没很堕落啦，至少赶完了两份功课，还有两分。。

哈哈。。想想，明天又开学咯。。够了，这几天给我已经够啦。。做人不可以太贪心。享受过了就要重新出发啦。。要谢谢室友们都回家，我才有这一段享受的日子。。要谢谢我姐姐，我才能吃得饱睡得好。。要谢谢我自己，因为我爱我自己嘛。。哈哈。。

能医不自医

我一直都知道，想是想，没有行动，一切都是空的。说到底，我自己也是光想，知道该怎么做，却迟迟不行动。忙，其实只是一个借口。虽说真的是在忙，但如果真的下决心要做一件事，就该放下其他不那么重要的事情，专心去做要做的事才对。
我现在的情形是，我希望更有效的帮助身边有心事的人。然而，我基础不坚固，theory没掌握好，technic也在起步中，所以我一直觉得不能完全帮到人。我能做的，就是专心地听他讲心事，然后根据自己的经验，自己的观念，纠正那些我认为不理智的思想。也许是帮到人，分担他的心事，减轻他的压力烦恼，但却不能彻底带他了解并解决问题。
我想学习，学习theory，学习更有方向的帮助一个人。好不容易，忙完了所有project，现在剩下的是为赶完的几分assignment。基本上我是有时间可以开始充实自己的知识了。我希望我的求知欲望可以撑下去，足以带动我去掌握那些有用的知识及技巧。加油啦，不要在放纵自己了。。。