心情--共勉之。。

亲爱的室友们、X-室友们、朋友们、旧同窗好友、家乡朋友们、家人、认识的、不认识的。。。

许多时候，我们都经历着很多的事情。家庭问题、学业成绩、功课压力、工作忙碌、感情问题、友情烦恼、同学争执、财政危机。。。有些事可以让我们很开心，有时伤心、烦恼、低潮、兴奋、孤单、忧虑、关心、逃避、生气、讨厌、不舍、失望。。。。。。

人类是有情绪的生物，所以很多时候是很难避免不受影响的。我承认，我也是很情绪化的一个人。我可以很低落，但我也很容易恢复心情。感受到最近身边朋友，很多都不开心，想跟大家分享下。。

其实，这世上是没有任何一个困难，是人所不能解决的。因为，上帝给予人的试探，不会超过人所能承受的范围。还有一句话说：当上天把你面前的门关了，他会另外为你开一扇窗。有时问题看似解决不了，但其实只是你被盲点遮盖了。你能做的，就是退一步，看清整个问题；或找其他人帮忙，找出解决方案。最近书上读到：人的压力，是自己的思想行为所引起的。很明显，情绪低落，是自己想要的，而未必是事情或其他人所引起的。开心与不开心是自己掌握的，所以，何不尝试掌控自己的一切？

从失败中学习成长。没有经历过失败的人才是可悲的。重要的是我们有没有从失败中提取教训？有没有改进？有没有预想到下一次会有类似的事情发生，而那时你是否又是用同样失败的方法去行？还是回想上一次的失败，针对类似的问题寻找对策？

当你觉得发生的问题已超过你所能承受的范围，不要自己承受，试着与可以信任的人分享。看到你不开心，我会担心；看到你憋着不说，我更痛心。不要害怕给别人带来烦恼，因为有时你的隐瞒，反而更让人担心。有问题就要解决。不开心就要发泄。希望大家都能找到适合自己的疏解方式。切记，永远不要有自残的念头，因为就算到了最坏的地步，你还是比很多人幸运！

Family..

Idea taken from jia nee blog...

Thinking of my family...

Actually I seldom think of my family. I seldom call back since I come KL. Only if I 'suddenly' remember that i have not call back or receive call from family, then I will call back, and that is nearly one month time already..Both of my parents are working, office hour, only at home at night time. I am actually not so close with my parents. Well, i dont mean that we are ignoring each other, just, I never share about my feelings with them.

I think is because my parents not control on me and my siblings, so now when I grow up, I actually not dependent on my parents emotionally. I can leave home for a long time, without missing them. Or maybe is because nearly two years in KL dy, so I biasa dy??

I wish that I can care more bout my family. But maybe I never ever think that anything will happen next moment, so I just cant make my mind to care bout it... My family cannot be replaceable by others. But I think, maybe i put them as part of my life, like others, so I just treat them equally... I hope one day I will realize how important my family to me. I wish to bring them more that I can, especially love and care...

2nd choir team (chinese) 感言

真的结束了。。我等这一天等得很辛苦。。哈哈。。因为最近学业上的压力，所以就一直期望可以早点结束所有的活动，让我有更多自己的时间．另一方面，也许是一开始对它抱有某种期望，所以当理想和现实不符时，就会产生不满。。

我是自愿加入choir的。一开始是希望可以延续之前在家乡参与少年诗班那种归属感。我不指望有像陈凤仙指挥那么好的指挥，只希望能找回那种快乐的唱歌的感觉。刚开始的阶段，一切还好，出席率不错，练唱也轻松简单。到十二月练唱比赛歌曲，我就没把练唱放首位，不时不时跷了练唱时间了。原因：Umit给我更多乐趣。开学，一切停顿了。直到新年后，大家都几乎以为choir没出队了。后来被通知Samantha接下了Choir manager，才有开始用短短的几个星期时间练唱。

练唱进展并不好。会员出席率不高，教练不够专业，大家纪律都不好，钢琴设备不足，大家都没用心。到了最后一个星期，大家才来赶。。连指挥都是临时训练出来的。大家对指挥常常有很多不满，但我只能说，对一个新人，要求不能太高。我唯一的不满是练唱占去我太多时间。我讨厌每次大家不准时，然后练唱又玩玩，浪费很多时间。加上我当时要温习考试，对choir更是反感。我问过自己干嘛自作孽，找个东西来让自己讨厌。只能说，我没想过会是这样的。。我后悔过，但我没想过真正退出，我还是坚持到最后。。我忍，因为我知道大家都没错。。

今天的比赛，我只能讲，大家都唱得很开心。我是想，都最后一次唱了，也懂得怎样让自己开心的唱（想像某人嘛）。上场的时候，也真的心情很好，很开心。拿到第二名，是意料之外的，因为我们都知道自己唱得不是很好。俊耀问我做么看起来好像不是很开心。。我不是压力不开心，我只是没特别开心。Choir不是我所注重的，有好成绩，我只觉得，嗯，好呀，大家都很开心，很好。菁菁说我太冷静了，很恐怖。。哈哈。。我也觉得我就像是局外人看戏咯。也许是其他情绪盖过它了吧。。过程与结束给予我的感觉，大过胜利的感觉。我期待它的结束，但没想过它的胜利。没期望，就缺少了收成时的成就感与兴奋感。但我感恩，因为这个胜利，带给很多人快乐！！

Festival Seni - CHOIR - 2nd place - feeling...(Eng)

All have comes to the end, and its a happy ending truely.. Sure, all of us never guess that we can get the 2nd place, its a surprising result!!

Since my 1st year, I have the initiation to join choir. However, I lost the chance as each time I have personal things to do when its choir audition. So, comes to my 2nd year. I join choir joyfully, with high expectation to get back the same good feeling of joining church choir before. The beginning is quite ok, with many choir members, simply sing together happily.

Then, is a long break until sembreak then we only start practice for our festival seni. After 2nd sem start, the practice stop, until after chinese new year, it start again. It seems like last minutes work. We nearly think that our college give up to send choir team, but Samantha take this task, become the manager of choir team. So, the practice start again. All kinds of problems following... choir members poor attendance, conductor, coach, pitching, sound value... All these, make me feel disappointed to join it..

Until recently, we start everyday practising. It make me even feel fade up coz the long and uneffective practice time, especially these days i am facing lots of assignments and a test. I even feel like want to quit, but I know its near dy, why dont I just be there until the end? So, I try to accept and try to be fun in choir. Also, I can see Samantha sacrifies so much for choir, till she seems ill and tense. I see conductor's hard work in learning the technic although she still cant do so profesional coz she is a new learner..

Now, its all over. Thank God for giving us such a good achievement, although we may not doing perfect. I still remember last time read the news about Brazil football team, saying 'They are not praying God for victory, but praying God to let the team which can most glorious Him to win.' I am not sure whether our team is it or not... But, we feel happy on what we have achievement.

For me, I dint have much emotion on the unexpected achievement. I just think, its really out of our expectation, surprising. We have once critic so much about it and it even make me so down of the practice sessions. However, I am happy that for those who really sacrifice so much, they worth it!! They gain the good return!! And me, sure I am also happy coz I enjoy in the last performance, really! I pray God so that all of us can do our best in this performance, and sure He hear me!!

Just say, congratulation to all choir members! and our manager Samantha. Is a good ending to pack up the whole experience and memories in choir 0809 2nd college. Finally, I dint regret to join it.

My shadow...

These days, I find myself really a bad person...really really bad... I know, now comes to the time where I am emotional... I dont like it...

I feel hard to control my feeling. I know I have to think good about all things, but I let myself complain on everything I feel uneasy... I complain about choir, hate of practising for a long time, hate of the condition which is out of control, hate of it taking too much of my time (when I am in a condition of lacking time)...

I hate myself of being so stupid, foolish, emotional, fatigue, not energised, lazy, keep on sleeping, complaining, not caring bout others feeling, not tolerate with others, not disciplined, easy get angry, unable to help myself and others, bad memories......

Today's test do badly... 5 choose 4, i do two of it wrongly... I study it, but just when comes to the question, I just misunderstand it... 'cognitive distortion' I think is 'cognitive disorder', 'risk taking in mental health' I think its only in 'cognitive aspect'... I know this is due to I not study enough. I just read through and understand it, but not get overall concept of it. I do badly in both test in this subject, worth 40 marks, and I know I wont score well in this subject already... Hate it!!

Where am I?? Coming back lar... Festival Seni coming soon, no more choir later. I have plenty time to study after this. Wake up lar... I still have time... Assignment, study, final... What I need to concentrate now! Dont sleep too much lar... Stress, go away from me!!! Hate you!!!

personal diary - change or not change

Yesterday night, choir practising. While singing the song 'I will follow him', we need to move our body left and right according to the rhythm. We have said that the two raws of us have to move to different direction so that it wont looked weird.

So, its a time when all of the female raw is moving to the same side with male. I find it since beginning, so i adjust myself to it. However, the others still following the same pattern as when they start to move. There, I find three pattern among us. 1. Me, who move to the opposite direction to others, as what we have say before, different with guys one. 2. Majority, who move by the wrong direction since begin, and until last. 3. One or two, see my direction, wondering want to change or not.

Cheng asks me why I want to follow the different direction while others are all swing at the same direction. I tell her that because this is what the right direction. She say, but if you are the only different, doesnt it looked weird? I know it, but just I have no mood to be serious at that time, so I just simply do what i want.... I just get an idea from this situation.

1.When you are the one who is right, but majority of others are wrong, will you going to follow them? Or you just follow the right one although it looks weird? I am wondering... Sure, in the reality, if this condition happen, majority human will confuse and think that maybe is themselves who are wrong coz they are alone. I just want to say, if you think you are right, and its really got evidence to prove that you are right (although majority others not right), be confident with yourself and move on with it. If you decide to follow the other part, up to you...

2.Be alert whether you are doing the wrong thing or not, even though majority people doing it. This is for your own good, as a wise person who is aware of your own life. If you discover that something wrong, just be brave to change yourself. Dont afraid to be judged by others. We have the rights to change ourselves to the better.

3.If you find that somebody doing something weird, find out that is right or wrong, instead of criticing that person. If you find that he/she is right, are you brave enough to challenge yourself to correct yourself or still following the majority? Just in case that you know majority people is doing the wrong thing, you are one of them, and you discover you are not doing a good thing, dont hesitate to make change. Some people may be lazy to change or not dare to take the challenge. But imagine, when more and more people realize it and change, will the condition be better?

personal diary - STRESS

Stress- (psychologically) inability to cope with perceived or real ( or imagined) threat to one's mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being, which results in a series of physiological responses and adaptations. (Seaward, 1997, p.5)

Stress - (generally) any event that strains or exceeds an individual's ability to cope (Lazarus, 1999)

Nowadays, I find that many of the friends around me are stress, including me. Why stress? Assignments, study, activities, relationships...... all common sources of stress. Majority those who meet stress is due to poor time management. (Minority is those who really work hard since the beginning, due to the high expectation given by their lecturer. )

Poor time management. I am one of this group, so talk in my 'experience'. Assignment is given since the early of the semester, but due to no stress and motivation that time, I choose to delay it, until nearly last minutes. What am I doing then? Activities, sleeping, chatting, playing, wasting times...... Enjoying my time, and lead to business and stress at the end. Now, its already 3/4 of this semester. Look forward, exam is near, (1 month later). Look backward, whole load of books need to study. Ask myself, manage to finish it before exam?? Then... STRESS>>> STRESS......

Ask myself what I can do now? Sure, go study if got time lar... Use every minutes wisely, dont sleep too much. Wasting time will only make me feel guilty and stress. Chatting.. still allowed coz it give me motivation. While concentrate on others problem, I can put aside my stressors, being more relax.. DONT TALK TOO MUCH, GO STUDY NOW!!

CIM game day..

Happy now... Hmm... Not just because of it pass already... Also, because there is a good ending... Thank God:)

Last night still emotionally affected by it, and bring the down mood to sleep... However, when I see the sunny weather this morning, I know GOD listen my prayer -- for good weather and fluent progress...

I want to say sorry to AhBoon, coz i left the job of finding player to him... really sorry of affecting him... This is my irresponsible side, I give up of doing something that I cant manage to settle. Also thank him of being sacrifice his study time for this, really appreciate of his kindness and helpfulness..

I skip the morning futsal session to church, leave all the games to Anson. I think he handle it well, and sorry to say that I din help this morning. Thank you Anson, for doing all that, including my part... Thank you jiali, for finding me the netball players, thanks chek go and chu hong, for male teams. Thank you my dear roomate cheng cheng, for being the last player for netball team... Thank you all volunteer players for this game, because of you, its successful...

The good weather, make this game a successful one. Actually not perfect, coz too hot this morning. But fortunately rain comes after we manage to finish all the games. Really Thank GOD for listening to our prayers.

Lean Choon say this game is an races integration programme for college. I still think that is no point to organize it coz really hard to push female player to join it at first (I dont know how is the condition of KKM and KKI lar, but for KKC it is truth). We all never play those sports. But is ok coz finally we got enough player for the teams... Thanks for all.

Really HAPPY now... Really, I din do much... But thanks for all... At least I learn something... I see my weakness and irresponsible part...

C-I-M game... so tiring...

Why nobody want to help?? Anything I can do?? 2molo is the game dy, can it pass faster...

真的很讨厌。。。为什么要办一个没人要参加的活动？？有什么意义？？谁可以告诉我？？我知道我叫不动人，但看到元文那样一直拉人，我都替他累。。我不喜欢逼人。。辅导员是不可以逼他的顾客的。。为什么我现在要做相反的事？？真的很累了。。我都不想理了，可以快点过吗？？但是还缺人。。

Counseling Diary

New concept for all to share..

**If you think a person (A) got maladaptive behavior, but A thinks he is all right, then it is you who have problem.

Explaination:
Maybe A really got some unacceptable behavior, but if he himself think he is ok, then we have to consider he is normal. Why I say those who are affected by him got problem? It is because you are the one who being uneasy with his maladaptive behavior. You are the one who get in trouble. So you are the one who have problem.

What to do next? If you really feel affected by that person, seek help from others. I will suggest that either you have to make a change to adapt or to accept A and his‘normal' behavior. Or you try to let A realizes that he has a maladaptive behavior.

If he realizes it, and going to change, then it will be fine for both you and A. But if he refuses to make any changes, then, it is your choice to accept A, or just avoid from his maladaptive behavior.

Fragments

Tuesday (10 March 09), I attend the drama presentation of PKVUM at KPS. That is an annual event organized by PKVUM, in conjunction to Easter day. This year’s presentation is simpler compared to last year’s. it is a nice show. I like the scene and the way they perform it.

I am sorry to say that, I cannot fully get what the drama wants to tell me. But what I get from it is a phrase, maybe even not an important phrase in the drama. “Human has the instant to care, but when it comes to action, your heart cannot manage it.” Get it? Ya.. I always say that I am not ‘8’, but care, concern. However, what I can do next? What I can give to those whom I concern? I really take it serious. Do I help you, at least to reduce your stress and moodiness? I hope I can do something for you, even slightly make you smile, before I can do more for you… “But what can you do next? Not more than listening…”

Who will make you whole? The theme of the drama, fragments. Think of it. Who can make you complete? Is this can simply be done by anyone else? By those you love?
Jesus loves you, loves me, loves all of us. He died on the cross for us, to bring us to the eternal life. Dying is easy, if you just jump down from a high building, shoot yourself with a pistol, kill yourself with a knife, overdoses, drunk…… IMAGINE…… just imagine, if you are dying on the cross, will this be easy? Sure no!! Jesus died on the cross, not only because of nailed wound, or over bleeding, but also suffering. The painfulness, the sins that make him apart from his Father Lord, tiring of pushing himself up to take breath…

I am sad. Since I have known this for years ago, but I do nothing for Him. He sacrificed so much for me, but I do not do a single thing for Him… I am a failure person in this way. And HOW ABOUT YOU?? Can you be more successful than I am?? I hope you are…

The second night I go there again, and this time, I understand what the drama tells. I get the three steps to approach the eternal life, which I have known them before. Just want to share here:
1. Admit that you have sins.
2. Believe that Jesus died for all of us. (to wash our sins with his blood)
3. Invite Jesus to be our Lord and Saviour.

JESUS was broken into FRAGMENTS to made us WHOLE

快乐就是这么简单

A happy lunch time… with zhi yi; with kin wei, jung yew, zai he, guang hao, kai siang; with kok hoe; with ken keat, wey sian, cheng cheng, wei wern, jing hui. I don’t mean that we eat together, but just take the lunch time to chat. It’s a nice time to meet with so many friends, just in a lunch time, and I have been in DU for nearly one and a half hour.
Just because I am a social person, I like to mix with people. Even just simply a slight interaction can pleased me a lot. I wish that, anyone who feels stress can just take a break by chatting with those you are pleased to be with. This can bring u pleasures, and reduce ur stress level in certain situation.

'Stress' assignment..

Hahaha... I think i already get done with my 'stress' assignment during my holidays last few days.. However, it seems like not what I think...

'How to cope with stress at work' This is my assignment title. Lecturer says minimum 5 pages. Ok, well, I do 7 pages for it. Its enough dy right?? But today, when i go to class in the morning, one of my coursemate have get it done, with 20 pages printed out already... OMG... that means I better doubles my pages of assignment, in order to have more reason for me to get better grade for my work... Nevermind, I trust that i can handle it, just add more unused 'loso' phrases, not a hard job for me...

This afternoon, entering another class. My another coursemate says she got 46 pages for that assignment.... My God.... I want to pengsan liao......","

感情事。。我不了解。。

刚刚从某人口中得知某某跟某某早已分手了，很久的旧闻了，只是我后知后觉的现在才知道。是，我是迟钝，但这不是重点。（也还好还没闹笑话。。）

从中学开始，就一直看着身边的朋友，拍拖、分手、在新的恋情、又。。。我很疑惑，不明白。。中学还可以说不成熟，但二十多岁了，成年了，大学生了，似乎还是一样。我知道，每份感情，你都是真心的，结局你也不想。但是，一段结束，另一段又开始，我会觉得你是爱上恋爱，而不是爱上某人。。

感情，是一份责任，开始了，就该持守下去。有人说，我对你有感觉，我们先相处看看是否适合，不合就分开。这样，对彼此都是一种伤害，不尊重。我不明白。。如果真的喜欢，觉得可以负起责任，开始了一段感情，那为什么不能坚持下去？有那么难吗？

菁菁说，就是相处过，觉得不适合才分开呀！也没错，日久见人心，久了才原形毕露，接受不了就放弃。我不明白的是，一开始可以相处得那么好，为什么到之后又不能包容？？

微文说，Aileen你去谈恋爱啦！我不要。。如果是像我看到的那些那么多不好的例子，我不要。等我去研究恋爱心理学先，研究人性先。上帝会让我知道。。

希望身边的每一对情侣，都会开花结果。。。

期待已久的假期。。

期待已久的假期。。虽然只是短短的四天，但也够我休息充电啦！！

从上个星期就一直等待这几天的休息日，因为我累积了太多功课啦。。之前的垒球赛，KKAA占去了我周末的时间，让我没精力再去完成自己的功课。现在，一切都结束了。。接下来的我，自由啦！！

说到这几天，真的好轻松，好享受，好幸福哦！！从星期五开始，我就睡很多，玩很多，吃很好，做很少。。每天累了就睡，几乎睡到我头晕晕。。早午晚三餐不用动手有的吃，都是姐姐预备的。。上网上到爽，聊天，看人家的部落格，找资料，找图片。。也没很堕落啦，至少赶完了两份功课，还有两分。。

哈哈。。想想，明天又开学咯。。够了，这几天给我已经够啦。。做人不可以太贪心。享受过了就要重新出发啦。。要谢谢室友们都回家，我才有这一段享受的日子。。要谢谢我姐姐，我才能吃得饱睡得好。。要谢谢我自己，因为我爱我自己嘛。。哈哈。。

能医不自医

我一直都知道，想是想，没有行动，一切都是空的。说到底，我自己也是光想，知道该怎么做，却迟迟不行动。忙，其实只是一个借口。虽说真的是在忙，但如果真的下决心要做一件事，就该放下其他不那么重要的事情，专心去做要做的事才对。
我现在的情形是，我希望更有效的帮助身边有心事的人。然而，我基础不坚固，theory没掌握好，technic也在起步中，所以我一直觉得不能完全帮到人。我能做的，就是专心地听他讲心事，然后根据自己的经验，自己的观念，纠正那些我认为不理智的思想。也许是帮到人，分担他的心事，减轻他的压力烦恼，但却不能彻底带他了解并解决问题。
我想学习，学习theory，学习更有方向的帮助一个人。好不容易，忙完了所有project，现在剩下的是为赶完的几分assignment。基本上我是有时间可以开始充实自己的知识了。我希望我的求知欲望可以撑下去，足以带动我去掌握那些有用的知识及技巧。加油啦，不要在放纵自己了。。。